


What a Wonderful World

by Daretodream66



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Heavy Angst, Suicide, Suicide Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 07:36:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20060389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daretodream66/pseuds/Daretodream66
Summary: Please don't let the title fool you.  There is nothing happy about this story.  Please, please, please heed the tags on this one.I usually write fluff, but this just happened.Bucky's response to Steve leaving him and getting the message that he was never worth 'til the end of the line.





	What a Wonderful World

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after I saw Endgame the first time back in April. It's been sitting here. I saw Endgame three more times in the theater and then yesterday I watched it again after buying it digitally. I got depressed for many reasons and started looking through my stories and found this. I had forgotten that I wrote it. I tweaked it a little, but here it is.  
This is written out of a troubled mind, so forgive me if it upsets you.

_I see trees of green, red roses too _

_I see them bloom for me and you _

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

Bucky moves through the garden. He’d asked Pepper if it was okay to take a walk after the funeral. She knew what he had done, but didn’t seem to hold it against him. He watched a bee make its way around the flowers and admired the way it had a single-minded purpose. He was that way once, but that was a bad purpose.

Sam joins him not long after, patting his shoulder and trying to keep him grounded. Nothing can really do that now, not after the talk with Steve. He only told Bucky. It isn’t that he doesn’t trust his team and friends, but he said that Bucky was the only one that needed to know the real plan. In a few hours, it will all be over. Steve doesn’t need to know that part, Steve gets to go live the life meant for him.

_I see skies of blue and clouds of white _

_The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night _

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

Bucky looks up at the sky after the platform takes Steve away. No, that isn’t right, the platform didn’t do anything, this was all Steve. ‘Til the end of the line’ doesn’t seem to mean much anymore.

Steve left, but he sits on the bench and Bucky tells Sam to go to him. He seems unsure and Bucky can tell that he’s confused as to why him and not Bucky. Bucky can’t see Steve like this. The glow in his eyes of a life well lived. The peace from knowing that there was someone that gave him everything. Bucky doesn’t know about either of those things, not the way Steve does. Bucky’s was always private because in the sun it would have been unwanted.

He walks away.

_The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky _

_Are also on the faces of people going by _

_I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do _

_They're really sayin… _

He leaves the note with Bruce and asks him to give it to Steve after he talks to Sam.

“You knew.” Bucky doesn’t answer, just walks away. Bruce makes his way to the bench and smiles at the look of awe on Sam’s face. “That looks good on you.” Sam smiles genuinely and walks away.

Bruce stops at the bench, looking down at his once leader. The smile of contentment gracing his face. “Bruce.” There’s such affection there that the doctor can’t hide his own. Steve turns, looking at the tree line. “Where did Bucky go?”

Bruce hands the letter over. “He left this with me and asked me to give it to you.” Now that the situation is presented, it does seem odd to Bruce. “He knew this is what you planned.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t do something like that without talking to him first.” His shaky fingers break the seal on the letter.

“I’ll leave you to it then.” Bruce goes back to the platform.

_The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky _

_Are also on the faces of people going by _

_I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do _

_They're really saying I love you_

Dear Steve,

I would never have said any of this to you before you left, but now that the time has come, it seems easy. I am glad you had a good life with the person you wanted most, I just wish you could have seen me. You told me, ‘til the end of the line’ and that isn’t what we got. You got yours, but I just got to watch from a distance.

Yeah, I do resent this because now I’m expected to keep going while you get to live with your memories of Peggy. The one thing that you have been trying to make me understand since coming out of cryo in Wakanda is that I get to choose now. And this is what I choose because you got your end, so I get to have mine on my terms.

_I hear babies crying, I watch them grow _

_They'll learn much more than I'll never know _

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world _

_Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world_

I know you want me to stay and help Sam, follow him, and give him the support that I gave you back then, but I don’t have it in me anymore to do that. You stepped up on that platform and took everything. You wanted me to be happy for you. You want me to still be happy for you. Can’t do it, pal.

You never really saw me after you came after me in Romania. You looked through my journal in that little apartment and didn’t understand what you were seeing. So after all these years, let me spell it out for you; I love you. Not like a brother, not like family, the way you love her. I’ve always known, it was always part of me, it was why I followed you. ‘Til the end of the line’ was my way of telling you. You’ve been my heart and soul since we were kids and I didn’t have a name for it.

I love you Steve, even now when you’ve broken my heart into pieces so small they can’t be picked up. You left me. I wasn’t enough. I was never worth anything and when you left you just proved it.

Good-bye Stevie

_And I think to myself what a wonderful world_

It isn’t until he gets to the bottom of the letter that he realizes what it is. He stands to scream for Bruce and Sam when the shot rings out. Somewhere deep in the woods surrounding the platform a super soldier falls to the forest floor, a picture clutched in his hand, and a small, grateful smile on his lips.


End file.
